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The Real Bush Library


Anybody who thinks this stoned-out coke-head got through Yale without undue family influence is delusional. As pudding-headed as Kin Jung-Un, had he not been part of the Bush family monarchy this man would have been fortunate to have successfully completed his GED.

So what exceptional publications might we find, apart from his illiterate scribblings and disinformational fraudulent missives to cabinet ministers under his (father’s) direct control, by other authors that might offer us a glimpse into GWB’s intellect?

Certainly nothing by any of the greater chroniclers of history since he apparently had no idea how tightly contained tensions were (and likely always will be) in the Middle East between facets of Islam and others.

Apparently he neither read the New or Old Testament, since he has no regard for human life.

Literature, Classic or Contemporary; Art; History; Music, other than Classic Rock; and Sciences are all seemingly absent from the vacuum sitting atop his shoulders. Leaving us with...

Green Eggs and Ham. Bush once declared this his favorite read, having once boasted to Karl Rove that he had read it more times than Sean Penn had in his portrayal of the retard in I Am Sam.

Where the Wild Things Are. Although never correctly pronouncing Sendak’s name, GWB loved the book for its frank insight into the power of dreams and delusions. He once said, “I feel sometimes like I’m the only one who can see all of the wild things around us...and that we must kill them all...”

Snowman. Sans words, this classic children’s book has entertained the former president for countless hours, and based on visual prompts from the book’s illustrations he has always enjoyed relating his sometimes perverse interpretations of the Snowman to the saintly and patient Laura Bush.

That’s about it: Three books line the massive oak shelves of the Real Bush Library. Doesn’t take much of a Dewey Decimal System to catalog, but Bush never got the hang of the Dewey Decimal System anyway...